Oh Baby, I Don’t Like It Raw

“Oh Baby, I don’t like it Raaaw. Shimmy Shimmy Ya, Shimmy Yam, Shimmy Yay, give me a blog and I’m gonna rip it today.”

I had to start by paraphrasing the late  Ol’ Dirty Bastard, even though I’m sure he wasn’t talking about raw food in the classic hip hop joint! Anyway, I am because for lunch today, I made my first incursion into that cuisine. A new restaurant, which I will do the favor of not naming, recently opened up and I decided to give it a try. Now, admittedly, I’m ignorant about the whole raw food thing, so I didn’t know what I was getting into, but I ordered some soyrizo lettuce tacos. Hey, soyrizo is good enough when I make it with eggs and papas, so what could be the harm?

Or so I thought! How wrong I was! After twenty minutes, I picked up what was the worst lunch I’ve had the displeasure of eating in YEARS! Instead of some flavorful soyrizo wraps, what I got instead was a cold paste smeared on four leaves of lettuce. For the price I paid, I thought, hell, anyone could whip up this shit. Overpriced and not tasty…is it always this way?

Somebody Q me up a slab of carne asada! Pronto!


2 responses to “Oh Baby, I Don’t Like It Raw

  1. I’m laughing with incredulity.

  2. The only raw food anyone should eat is fruit!

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